I'm afraid I am developing an eating disorder and I don't think I can stop?

I started to try to lose weight before my husband came home from a deployment to Afghanistan. I went from about 162 at 5"4' to about 140 I think but my scale was a little bit off. As soon as he came back, I gained back about 10 lbs. He eats out way too much to be healthy, sometimes he wants to eat out twice in one day. He has no care whatsoever about his health, period and it makes it hard for me. I haven't been happy with my body for a long time, I used to be happy with it as a teen but my mom would always criticize my body like "Look at all those fat rolls!" etc and I'd tell her to shut up but I guess it sunk in at age 20. She has since passed btw. I got questioned in middle school because someone said I had an eating disorder since I wouldn't eat lunch. At that time I didn't. But since my husband has come home, I count the calories in everything I eat and only drink water or 0 calorie sodas. I think I "purge" sometimes, though I don't make myself vomit. I'm not terribly thin though, most people would say I am average sized and maybe on the little bit plump side. I've always had a very proportionate body so no one ever thinks I weigh as much as I do. Anyone have any words of wisdom or advice?